well...

Wow, it's been over two months. I just browsed all the posts I missed reading since my move back to Montgomery. I'm now an assistant volleyball coach... I never would have even thought this a possibility until it happened. Of course, my main responsibility is the strength and conditioning side of things, but I'm becoming more and more a student of the game.

It's been a little strange coming back to a place I lived for a few years before... I'm a little different, the place is a little different, everyone's life - shocker - kept moving right along while I was gone, so they're a little different, too. I guess I've been so engrossed in the new job I haven't taken much time to explore and fully reconnect. What began as a conscious effort to be more intentional about starting again here and not jumping back into old routines has turned into allowing myself to focus almost solely on long days at the "office" (this encompassing the weight room, Tori's and my shared office, the gym, and Faulkner in general).

Here's to a more concerted effort at balance and reinvesting in meaningful ways...

Simple things... like a bike pump.

I watched this video at this blog today (and this site has lots of good stuff... I recommend adding it to your blog-roll) and it reminded me of an experience I had in Zimbabwe about 3 years ago. I give you permission to leave to watch the video and come back...

Long story short... I was part of a group that spend 10 days in Zimbabwe doing some survey work regarding future work our church would like to partner with there. This was early in the spiral of economic crisis that is the reality in that country. Anyway, whatever big plans and hopes I had for the trip, I was humbled when we made a visit to a school near Chivero. We took some soccer balls and a couple of pumps to be divided between a secondary school and a primary school along with some crayons and other such things. The teachers and students were ELATED. Huge smiles, jumping, clapping... The teachers had recently taught a lesson about crayons but had none to show the children (who had never even seen any). The primary school said they had a pump for balls and such but it had broken a while back and they didn't have any needles, anyway. The sheer joy that was spread by these simple things is hard to express with words. Now they had some crayons, some new soccer balls (so they didn't have to kick around some balled up trash), and a hand pump with needles.... this called for celebration!

Here's to remembering that what we might think of as small and insignificant can go a long way in bringing joy to our friends and neighbors (here and elsewhere). And, thanks to the video I shared above, for showing, again, how a single hand pump can bring about community in simple ways and be a blessing...

Have a great weekend!

mine, mine, mine...

Several things I've read lately and some thoughts today made me think of those seagulls in Finding Nemo. (Follow the link for a refresher.) So much in Christianity, especially American Protestant forms, has become so individualized. Our language, our songs, our programs... it's all about me. My savior. My God. My salvation. My walk with God. My needs. My wants. My desires. Mine, mine, mine...

While I don't think we need to, in some way, fully recover that sense of nationalistic identity of the people of Israel (though, some kind of try that by marrying faith to American patriotism... a bit more than unsettling, for me), I have felt strongly for several years now that we don't think collectively or communally nearly enough. The Kingdom of God is not about me (though it is). It's not my story (again, though it is). Why do we think so much focus is placed on the community of faith throughout the gospels and the letters? Community is essential for healthy expression of gifts and ministry, for healthy accountability, for healthy discernment, for healthy study, for healthy direction as we all partake in the journey, in Kingdom life.

Have I mastered this idea of not internalizing and/or individualizing everything down to my own situation? Of course not... I don't know of many (any?) who have really experienced or understand what it's like to truly live with their mind more slanted toward their immediate Christian community, the larger work of God in their part of the world and/or globally than their own situation and what God can/will/won't do for them personally. I remember in a Bible class not all that long ago I spent a few weeks trying to help some college students think about this. It's hard to get your head around... but it sure helps if you have a community that's willing to try to live it out and learn it together. I think that's the point.

Don't get me wrong... it's clear that God made us all unique, gifts us in various ways, and calls some to the forefront and others to less glamorous roles (see Romans 12, 1 Cor. 12, etc.). And we all have unique struggles, hurts, joys, trials, etc. But all of that is intended to be lived out, dealt with, celebrated within the community of faith. And the community of faith lives out this Kingdom life for the benefit of the world.

Here's to turning our "me" into "we" and our "mine, mine, mine" into something along the lines of "ours, ours, ours" or, better, "His, His, His."

where everybody knows your name...

I was reading this blog just a moment ago and it made me think of the older and ever so popular show Cheers! The above mentioned blogged raises the question, "If your church left the neighborhood, would anybody notice?" A question I think we should all ask of our faith communities.

The TV show Cheers! was part of my regular viewing habits through much of my life. It was (is?) one of those shows that most everyone connected with. The theme song pretty much summed up the heart of that connection, I think (this is from memory)...

"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot. Wouldn't you like to get away? Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name."

Okay, I had to check a lyrics site to clear up one part, but it's amazing that I could type all but two words without much effort! Not only do those words and that tune take me back... they stir something deep inside me. A longing that I think is in everyone... to be accepted, loved, and known.

The blog I referenced posed the question to several churches, large and small... and (I think you probably already figured it was where they were going) the feeling is that many churches would have to honestly answer, "No, the people around here probably wouldn't notice."

Sometimes I think those of us that frequent churches, in our own search for "Cheers! Gone Jesus," get too caught up in our own longings for that experience (when really, we already have it... at least much more than many who haven't heard good news in a long time...) that we don't seek to BE that experience for the people in close proximity to our places of worship, our homes, ourselves.

Hope the thoughts spur you to give someone a "Norm!" moment today!

how far is too far...

So, I was going through my ritual of checking job sites, email, facebook, and got around to checking my blog-roll, which is usually quite enjoyable. Brian McLaren often has good things to share or points his readers to other blogs/sites of interest. I followed a link from one of his recent posts to this blog which expresses lament over the recent "pew poll" about torture that has gotten a lot of attention. While most of the blog/prayer resonated with me (I think we should think and pray long and hard about how/if we think of/justify the use of torture in light of our faith and the example of Jesus), the end of the prayer included a sentiment that bothered me deeply in other ways:

"There are times when a church so badly misunderstands what it means to be church that it must be repudiated as fundamentally ungodly, fundamentally a negation of true Christianity. This has sometimes been called a status confessionis moment — a situation where the basic integrity of the gospel and the core witness of the church are at stake. Jesus, I believe this is one such moment.

Any church — congregation, parachurch organization, denomination, or group of individual Christians — that supports torture has violated its confessed allegiance to you and can no longer be considered part of your true church. Let them be anathema."

The church I've been a part of for a few months now had a related conversation in our study yesterday morning about how we "in-group" or "out-group" people based on the ideas/thoughts/beliefs/values/etc. they hold. We're willing to label someone as non-Christian pretty quickly over many things that (may) have little or nothing to do with following Jesus. I think the above mentioned poll and the blog referenced that is a response to that are directly related to that conversation.

Does holding the position or opposing the position that our government should have policies that allow those involved in national security matters to torture people for information affirm or negate my decision to follow Christ? Obviously, some will (and have) said, "Yes," and others, "No." Is this only a political issue? Only a moral issue? These are not easy questions.

It's impossible to get inside the heads of all the Christians who took this poll and hear (much less, understand) where they're coming from and how they came to their conclusions. While I feel that our government and various agencies can go too far in the name of national security, I also believe that we, as Christians, can go too far in our response to those that, after much (or little) thought come out on the opposite side of an issue.

Again, these are not easy questions... but I do hope that they lead us to much prayer and reflection and an ever-increasing trust that the Spirit will guide us toward all truth and closer to the heart of God.

Merton...

I've read a good bit of Thomas Merton's work in the past few months. His The Seven Storey Mountain, while a bit of a chore, was intriguing as he told the story of his becoming a monk. I'm currently reading (re-reading parts) of his Thoughts in Solitude. I came across these words this morning...

“A purely mental life may be destructive if it leads us to substitute thought for life and ideas for actions. The activity proper to man is not purely mental because man is not just a disembodied mind. Our destiny is to live out what we think, because unless we live what we know, we do not even know it. It is only by making our knowledge part of ourselves, through action, that we enter into the reality that is signified by concepts…

Living is not thinking. Thought is formed and guided by objective reality outside us. Living is the constant adjustment of thought to life and life to thought in such a way that we are always growing, always experiencing new things in the old and old things in the new. Thus life is always new.”

I think this touches on the source of much of my frustration from the past few years. I feel that most of my life, faith (my faith, the faith of the circles I've run in) has been so focused on what some have called "beliefism." I'm continuing to find that it's hard to shift out of that mode and into a more lively, active faith where beliefs are formed by action and action by belief.

This relates in some ways to my current profession... the world of exercise/strength and conditioning/athletic performance is full of ideas and theories, some good, some bad, some neither. The reality of it, though, is that you have to be about the actual execution of plans and ideas to see if they actually work... a cycle of shaping action by thought and thought by action naturally occurs if you really care what results from your time and effort. Seems this attitude would better serve our faith and lead to a healthier perspective.

fca...

So, I've turned in my last paper... I'd like to believe that it's the last paper I'll ever have to write, but the last few years won't allow me to give it that degree of finality. I mean, so far, I've always ended up back in school... who knows? A Ph.D could be down the road... sigh. Anyway...

Tomorrow, I'm speaking at the last FCA meeting of the school year at Lawrence County High School in Moulton, AL. The football coach there was the first coach I worked with as an assistant for two seasons in Montgomery. My twin is the guidance counselor there and I have numerous friends that are alumni. Of course, it was/is a rival school to my alma mater, Hatton High School. I'm thinking I'll be taking my letterman jacket to use as part of an illustration... should be fun. I know I'm getting older when I struggle a bit to know what's best to share with a group of high school students. I'm sure it will be a good experience regardless... even from simply getting to spend a night at my parents' home, see the nieces, one sister, my brother-in-law, and some friends I don't get to see often. And maybe God will use something I share to jog something inside a few athletes... that would be cool, too.

Hope you're all well out there... no news on the job front here, but hoping for some development soon.

the power to choose...

I found out yesterday morning that I'll not longer be "required" to take graduate classes that I don't need in order to continue working with the program at UAB. This is a huge relief and answered prayer for whatever time I have left here! I still have to finish one paper, but that will be IT! I feel it's important, also, in that it will hopefully help out others that are already here or will be in the future... mainly by allowing for some type of assessment that will allow their time and money to go toward activities that are in their best interest.

Derita Ratcliffe is our new Associate AD and I have to give mad props to her for listening, having an open mind, and doing some research to find out what options are available. I think she's a blessing to the Athletic Department, especially our little world in the Strength and Conditioning Program. I think these somewhat minor changes will allow more flexibility in the program that will contribute to many other good things for staff and athletes (in my opinion).

Hope you're all well out there...

waiting...

It's been a few days since I've felt compelled to post. I don't have some great feeling of inspiration, but I figured I'd put down a few thoughts, anyway.

I've said in various settings that I relate to Abraham's story in many ways. One of the things I see in his story is a restlessness that echoes in my life. There were times in his journey with God when he was told to go and God would show him the place. After a time, it seems, Abraham got antsy and felt like he was supposed to be somewhere else or doing something else and, so, he took off. I wonder how his story might have been different - how God would have responded differently and how Abraham would have, in turn, responded - if he had ignored those urges to move on, to seek for something else "out there" that he felt God surely wanted him to find.

I find myself in these times of restlessness a lot... in retrospect, I wonder how things might have gone differently if I had spent more time waiting, listening, watching. Coming to another similar place, I'm trying to make that decision. But how do I know if the paths that avail themselves are paths to be taken or paths to ignore? I know from experience and from His promises that God's going to work regardless. He's going to be there about His business wherever I may find myself. But I'm going to try to wait for His peace before making another move.

pick out a good one...

I posted the other night about ending up almost in the middle of a knitting group at the public library. This morning, an experience on the opposite end of the spectrum for the library. I came in, picked a different spot in the "Plaza" area at one of the pub/cafe tables next to a window. As soon as I sat down and pulled out my laptop, the gentleman on the couch, who was enjoying the day's newspaper, buried his pinkie finger in a nostril... ... ... you never really know what you're gonna get (thanks, Forrest Gump) even at the public library. So, while you're at the library this weekend picking out a good read, beware of those who might be picking out the best of, well, something else.

Heading to Montgomery in a little while for the Crawfish Boil at the Ledets'! Hope you have a great weekend!

knitting...

I decided to pop into my local library to unwind and check my email and such. They have this new area that's a coffee shop, reading area, bookstore, lounge, etc. Pretty cool, and better than just sitting at a boring ol' table surrounded by the shelves or in a cubicle. So, I plopped down in a comfy lounge chair and got out my laptop and started doing important things... like checking on my Mafia Wars situation on Face Book and stalking some of my friends... and I realized after a short time that I was about to be an observer of a knitting class of some sort. So, now I'm sitting here watching a gathering of around 15 knitters ranging in age from around 6 to somewhere around 70 years. Some grandmothers, moms, and kiddos, being taught to knit by a couple of (what appear to be) 20-somethings. I'm not really into knitting, but it's not a bad distraction... kind of neat, actually, to have their chatter and yarning (or darning?) in the background. I guess it's really in the foreground. I didn't mention that the chair I plopped into earlier is actually facing their grouping of chairs and couches. And I just learned that there are (at least) two styles of knitting... English and Continental. Call me a Renaissance man.

Here's to hanging out at your local library... if you haven't in a while, stop by and say hello. Or, maybe, just eavesdrop on a knitting class while you're running your errands for The Godfather or stalking those special someones.

Hope you're able to let out a sigh of relief now that tax season is over and that you have a great weekend coming up! I'm going to be enjoying the Ledet's Crawfish Boil down in Montgomery this weekend and plan to visit with my old crew at Landmark on Sunday.

balance...

So, no deep thoughts for today... just commenting on the fact that my boss waved bye on her way out the door at 3:30pm today while I was working with my last group for the day (that just finished right before 4pm). Oh... she got here at 11am and I got here at 6:30am. And this is no rare occurrence. Okay... that's all.

expectations...

I had a good, relaxed Easter weekend... got to share in some new experiences for Holy Week (one with my mom and older sister)... and spent some time helping a brother out as he continues to prepare for his driving test (a little adventure!).

Just as Easter weekend left the disciples with a mixture of awe, hope, and uncertainty for the future, I face the coming weeks and months with a somewhat renewed sense of peace that is accompanied by twinges of doubt. I've been hoping for some opportunity to move on from the transitional role I've been in since early last year, yet I find myself still dangling resumes in front of uninterested opportunities. I still wrestle with which path to follow, if I am to have a choice. That's ironic... I'm wrestling over choosing between options that don't really exist at the moment. Typical, I guess.

As I shared with a friend last night on the phone... one thing's for sure - something will happen. Ha. I'm more at peace with God than I've been in a long time in some ways... not as burdened about following, about having to prove myself, etc. But I'm still restless and unsure about how to actually make a living and be responsible with that. I'm still looking for coaching jobs, but I'm also more open than I've been in a long time to allowing God to move me back into ministry/missions. There may be a new opportunity for that in the near future and I'm excited about exploring that and other possibilities to serve in the kingdom in more "traditional" ways.

Fat and Greedy...

This is what I think most often any time I think about the problems of extreme poverty and hunger/starvation in our current world state. And it's not just the U.S.A. I think of... but so many countries that want to be like us. We, in our luxury and excess, have fostered so much of the greed that exists in the global picture. No, I don't think others' greed is completely our responsibility, but, if we're honest with ourselves, we have to take a chunk of the credit... and our own greed is definitely our responsibility.

And it's not just governments and international economic policies and aid plans I'm frustrated with... look at the wealth and influence in American churches and tell me there's not more we can do in the world than build bigger churches (and bigger homes, and nicer cars...). Read the words of Jesus. Don't dodge them or explain them away we've been taught. Read them and let them hit you, for once, right between the eyes. When He says, "Don't worry about your life... sell everything and give it to the poor... and follow me," let it sink in for a bit.

Our response to the current economic situation shows our true colors. A Biblical perspective one can gain from reading for such a situation is that people sell (at least some) of the things they have to meet the needs of those that have not so that all are accounted for. Our response? Cut giving, hold on tighter, and prepare to pistol-whip anyone out there who wants (in reality or in our delusion) to take what we have.

I realize there are real logistical problems for actually getting monies and aid to the people that really need them... but can we at least allot for what's needed and then work on the logistical problems as we go?

How hard would it be (aside from the extreme paradigm shift) to refocus our country's ingenuity, manpower, and resources to such ventures rather than the business of weapons and war and making sure our wealthy get their bonuses?

Okay, I know I've been ranting and I know that the many issues I've directly mentioned or alluded to are complex. Before you judge or go to bashing... I would ask that you'd, in the least, read through the Gospel of Luke (just happens to be my favorite... you can read any you like) and honestly ask yourself where you'd stand in relation to the words of Jesus when he talks about the rich and the poor... the powerful and the powerless.

A step further, and maybe that which would require the lest effort, watch the movie, "The Girl in the Cafe." I watched it last night and it got my wheels turning again on the topic (especially since the G20 just met recently).

More challenging reads, in more ways than one, would be Brian McLaren's "Everything Must Change" and/or Jimmy Carter's "Our Endangered Values." You don't have to agree with everything in these books... but at least hear them out and listen to the staggering figures related to our budgets and world need and how the way things are can't keep working (if you can say they ever really did work well).

Yes, it's Good Friday... Easter Morning is just around the corner. While I reflect on the life, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus... that he came to preach the good news to the poor, freedom for prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor... I can't help but think that His mission, in this regard, should shape ours.

preach it...

I've almost read through all of the book Preaching Re-Imagined by Doug Pagitt. He talks in-depth about something I've wrestled with in church experience as both a minister on staff and as a member "at large." The heart of what he shares and my own struggle is that, in most church families, there's just not enough input from the community has a whole as we gather to let the Word shape us.

Pagitt is a proponent for what he calls progressional dialogue in lieu of speaching (preaching as a speech-giving), and I have to say it seems a lot like what I would prefer. There's really not any one "right" way to engage, but it basically involves allowing input (on the front end) and feedback (during and/or on the back-end) in relation to preparing messages for a community of believers. This is all in attempt to not let one voice, one perspective, one experience dictate how the Word affects the community. The intended result is to collectively deepen their faith and speak to each other about how the community lives out the kingdom where they find themselves.

I've oversimplified here, for sake of space, but I feel that this is a step toward a healthier way for communities of faith to interact with the Word of God and one another. I'm ready for experiences that allow the Word to shape us through that kind of interaction as the Spirit works. I'm thankful that the church family I've been with for a few months has interactions like this in our "class" time and am hopeful that more of our encounters with the Word in community will be as meaningful. May we allow the Spirit to move among us and shape us as we tend to each other openly and honestly in response to the Word.

holy week and such...

I'm thankful for the church family I've been spending time with for the past few months. Part of that is that they incorporate into our worship practices of communal reading and reflection that are more commonly associated with various other Christian groups. I've thought over the years about how, for various reasons, the church tradition I grew up in, as well as others, have avoided certain elements found in the history of Christian worship and practice.

Perhaps some of those reasons are or were valid to make a break from unhealthy attachment to tradition or some religious form, I feel that the reaction has been mostly overly harsh and more a move from a position of fear than anything else. My feeling is that many in Christian churches who rejected such things at some point in recent decades, especially in America, have lost touch with the broader scope of our heritage and the traditions and practices that have been passed down through the centuries. Yes, I think it's healthy to evaluate such practices and ensure that we're not caught up in some form or discipline above our devotion to and following of God. But I think that, in many cases, we've simply replaced ancient/traditional forms for our own modern ones that have affected the same unwanted outcome that was rejected before.

Just food for thought... especially this week when some of the long-standing traditions and practices of Christian community that tie us so closely to Christ take place. So many are unaware of what they could experience in community through these, are fearful for various reasons of the practices themselves, or simply refuse to take part. Such events could be beautiful times that bring the community of believers closer together rather than widen the gaps between us if we allowed them to do so.

I hope you are drawn into deeper community through your reflection of Christ during Holy week. Hope you're well!

sweaty palms...

Well, the title isn't really related to anything except that it's Palm Sunday and I had that word association thing going through my head...

I was talking today with a small group of folks from the church family I've been visiting with since the first of the year. We were discussing some of the ideas from our study this morning related to the book The Shack. I've yet to read it, but from our classes, I think I'd mostly enjoy it. The main thing we spoke of was a conversation from the book about the institutions built in the name of Christ and how sometimes they're not about the things that He would have them be about in His name (not that they can't be about those things, just that they aren't some/much/most of the time). We also talked about how God isn't confined to being found through the religious structures we've built.

In my mind that discussion is related to another conversation about myself and others I know who have oscillated between "full-time" ministry jobs and "secular" jobs within our struggle to find our place and use our gifts/talents. It seems to me that in order not to get caught up in protecting/serving/building our institutions and in order to stay in touch with those God wants so much to find him, it's not a bad idea for those in "church work" to leave the confines of our churches and ministries from time-to-time. For some of us, myself anyway, it seems we get to the point where the trappings of the sometimes all-too-familiar church environment/culture keep us from actually living out faith in real and meaningful ways that impact people/the world. Not saying everyone needs such a wandering path through life to help them stay more true to Jesus, but it's done me good, personally, even if not as much professionally.

Hope you're well... and I hope that during this Holy Week you'll experience some powerful moments of reflection/worship/lament/joy as we remember the events that continue to shape our life and faith.

living...

"If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for." -Thomas Merton

I've thought about this quote quite a bit recently. On one hand, it provokes a lot of reflection and searching, say, for those that are seeking to be Christ-like, to better themselves, to contribute to a higher good. In another way, I feel that many people in the world wouldn't give it much thought. Their answer, if truthful, would be that I'm living for myself and that's exactly what I want to be living for...

On further thought, if any of us are honest, we're mostly living for ourselves. The difference? That last bit... what is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for... perhaps suggests that what I'm living for and what I want to live for are two different things. Those of us who've gotten a taste of who God really is... who've gotten a glimpse of Jesus... realize that living for ourselves is a losing battle and that there's something else to live for that's worth the struggle, the pain, and the dying necessary to break us out of our brokenness.

On a lighter note... I'm sitting in my office, waiting to train one athlete today... playing with an MP3 player I got for Christmas that I'm not sure I can use with my Mac laptop... and I've started re-reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. Good stuff. Not much else going on... I have about a movie and a half left from yesterday's harvest from the public library. And, I guess I should try to do some homework...

Hope you're well...

Here we go...

I think I tried blogging a few years ago... then came myspace and then facebook. Despite paltry attempts, I've never been that good at regularly sharing my thoughts - I'm content to let them play out their games within the confines of my own head. I'm thinking they'll be happier and I'll benefit more if I let them out to roam a bit and allow them to drag home whatever they might find (or whatever you might offer them). No guarantees that they won't bite, but they're normally just curious; inquisitive. So, welcome them, if you will, and point them back this way when you've had your fill so that we might unpack what you've shared; whether to enjoy, toss away, or save for another day.